View From ThE Apple House

Ok, so where were we?

I think the last time I tried this in earnest, dear reader, it was 2012 and I was in the midst of a massive meltdown, a loss of confidence and generally and ultimately heartbroken. 

I could totally relate to the great Diane Keaton’s scene in “Somethings Gotta Give.”  You know, the one where she is a playwright who is unceramoniously dumped by Jack Nicholson, and decides to kill him off in a new play she wrote specifically for him.

As she is furiously typing away on her keyboard, she stops for a moment with the realization –

“I know this. 

I know this feeling. 

I’ve written about it before, but never really felt it. 

This is heartbreak.” 

She screams and goes on.

It wasn’t that easy for me. 

I screamed a lot, a LOT, but I didn’t go on.  Not for a long time.

My last thread of trust had been broken, and I was never going to trust a man again, let alone date one.   I was no where near who I really was; even my children didn’t recognize me.

It was like surviving a death, losing one’s mind, for I believe I did both for a while.

What saved my sanity was the practice of yoga.

To be specific, the practice of looking outside myself and asking for help; whether it be from God, from my friends, and even those who I never thought would be available to me.

The world is a beautiful place and not everyone is cruel and hateful.

Yoga taught me that.

Life taught me that.

I will go into more detail about my yoga life and all the blessings it has brought with it, but that’s another column.

Through God’s grace and a treasured friend, I did meet another man (after some half hearted attempts to date) and he has surpassed my wildest dreams.

The realization that I would have been ok without him does not mean I could care less about him, but that fact that I care more about myself now. 

Don’t worry, you’ll understand once I define it more clearly.

Its yoganese.

Glad to be back.